Sorrow Filled Hearts

Yesterday morning, I took this photo of the sun rising as I dropped my youngest off to high school.
What a gorgeous start to the day.
Some 45 minutes later, tragedy struck Northern Ohio.
A 17 year old boy went to Chardon High School with a loaded gun and shot five of his classmates.
Three of the victims have died.
Lives here are forever changed.

I had a very difficult time sending my son to school this morning.
I would be naive to think that what happened in a neighboring school district, could not happen here.
While I have great trust in our school district and it's safety measures, they are the same measures that Chardon has in place.
And yet, this very tragic event occurred.

Stories are emerging of the shooter being a quiet kid who randomly chose his targets.
That he had become a loner and was possibly bullied.

And stories are being told of the victims, that they were good kids, with very bright futures.
And when you see their photos flashed across the news coverage, that's exactly what you see.
Beautiful, smiling kids.
Kids like yours.
Kids like mine.
Just kids that got up and went to school yesterday.

So when are we going to stop this?

When are we as parents of the bullied and the bullies going to put an end to this?
How many times are we willing to mourn the death of a child before enough is enough?
Isn't it already enough?

I know we all do the best we can when raising our kids. We teach them right from wrong. We teach them to treat others with respect. We teach them about accountability for their actions and their words. We teach them to apologize when they have wronged someone. To feel humiliation when they have hurt someone. To be the one to befriend the lonely kid. To make eye contact with the special needs boy and greet him each morning. We teach our kids about being honest, having integrity and respecting others.

Or do we?

Do we allow some things to slide by us because we are too busy, or too tired, or we just can't be bothered?

Raising children in this age of technology can be rough.  Texting, FaceBook and Tumblr has given our children the ability to speak their minds 24 hours a day, seven days a week. They are able to respond instantly to each other, without being face to face. They can write things on a FB wall that they would never dream of saying directly to that person.

But just because they can, should they?
And shouldn't we as parents be monitoring what is being said and done by our children?

Do you know the electronic footprint your child is leaving behind?

I am by no means a perfect parent, I have certainly made my share of mistakes. There have been plenty of times when I wish that I could turn back the clock and do the day over. Plenty of times when I have gone to bed ashamed of how I have handled a situation. And many, many nights where I've had to remind myself, that my children do not need another friend, that instead what they needed was tough love.

I can not wrap my brain around the idea of living with a child who was boiling so deep with anger and not knowing it. How did it go this far? Did no adult in his life see the festering? I am not placing blame, I do not know enough about the situation to make such a judgement, but it seems that when you are 17 years old and you post ominous photos online and tweet that you will be bringing guns to school the next day, that someone should have noticed.

As the somber filled wave rolls out across this country, with this tragic incident being compared to Columbine and Virginia Tech, we should all try to learn from this. Once again.

No one wants to send their child to school hoping that they will see them again in a few hours.
Let's talk to our kids, hug them, kiss them, let them know you love them. Every single minute that you can.
Let them know that you have their back. That they can come to you for any reason at all and can count on you to be there for them.

Most of all, we need to listen.
Listen to them.
Oh dear God, we need to listen.